Hello world.  Well it's been about five days since I went into negative land on my bank account.  Just an FYI--that's a LONG time to go without money, especially when you consider the incidentals like gas and food.  Yikes.  I put seven dollars of quarters into my car for gas and used the rest of my change (taken out of my son's piggy bank--sorry honey) for some basics--bread, eggs, peanut butter.  So at least I do have food. It's not appealing to me in the least, but hey, beggars can't be choosers, right?

I'm not going to dwell on my spectacular fall from successful internet millionaire.  If I do, and god knows, I've done it enough, I feel like I can't breathe, like I'm drowning in dirt.  Dirty black dirt.  And while I struggle, my abusive, cheating ex and his new wife are flying high.  Now I really can't breathe.

I stare at myself in the mirror and repeat over and over: It will be ok, it will be ok.  You're gonna survive this, kid.  And I will.  I've survive worse.  Survived when my ex put his hands around my throat and squeezed.  Survive, survive, survive.  It's better than the alternative.